Show Review: Two and a Half Men

     
         Do you know what show on television has won the most awards? I do. It's Two and a Half Men. Now ask me if I know how Two and a Half Men has won the most awards? I do not. If I had to describe this show in one word it would be: average. I am an equal opportunity viewer, if a show racks up awards I like to see why, and last year I watch 6 seasons of this show and these are my thoughts.
        Another word for this show is gutless. The best shows are not afraid to change up the dynamic of the show to keep a fresh perspective and keep the jokes new. Granted I have only seen up to season six, in those seasons of Two and a Half Men: Alan still lives with his brother and is struggling financially, Charlie is still a swinging bachelor, and his son is still stupid, food guzzling and clueless.
        I'll be honest, this dynamic worked for about 4 seasons. A show can't win all these Best Comedy Emmy Awards without being at least slightly funny, which it is. My complaint is that if they change the dynamics of the show you find areas where your characters excel that you didn't know they could. What if Alan found his way into money and Charlie went down on his luck and had to depend on him? Or maybe Alan getting on a hot streak with women while Charlie had a icy spell. I'm not a writer for Two and a Half Men so those are the best ideas they're getting.
        To sum up my problem with the show simply: wasted potential. It's a funny show with good writing. The problem is the style hasn't changed. Charlie finds a gorgeous woman, in the morning the son Jake asks a question about something he overheard them say or do and his father Alan lies to him awkwardly. Sprinkle in an ex-wife, alimony, and an overbearing mother and you found yourself an Emmy winning formula.

Likelihood that Two and a Half Men gets tivoed week to week:  0.     Even in its prime this show was wayyyyy over rated, now it's past its prime and still wayyyyy over rated.

Show Review: 30 Rock

        This post is not going to be an episode review, as it was the last 2 weeks of the semester and I had a ton of work to, I am about 2 episodes behind. Instead I will review what has to be one of the top 5 comedies on TV right now... 30 Rock.
        Headlined by Tina Fey this show features a rotating carousel of A-List guest stars (Al Gore, Seinfeld, Matt Damon, Elizabeth Banks, Selma Hayek just to name a few) and past and present SNL stars to deliver witty dialogue a clip of a joke per 5 seconds.
        Usually shows have to decide early on what kind of comedy they are going to do. Their is fast witty comedic dialogue that keeps viewers interested but fails to deliver too much storyline (Seinfeld would be the most prominent one of these). Then there are shows that sacrifice non-stop wit for a hilarious payoff in the last 5-10 minutes of the show (How I Met Your Mother). Then there is the rare breed of show that can do both simultaneously. They have both an episodic and seasonal goal. The only three shows off the top of my head that do both of those things are: Arrested Development, Friends, and 30 Rock.
        Using a wide variety of cast to make fun of pretty much every demographic, 30 Rock spares nobody. From suave uber rich billionaires (Jack Donaghy), lonely people on the dating scene (Liz Lemon), and completely out of touch actors/actresses (Tracy Jordan/Jenna Maroney) with plenty of other stereotypes in between. The real key to this show is it's touch. They don't hit on the same characters more that 3 or 4 times a season, keeping each characters prospective fresh and new each time they are in the focus of an episode.
        People have been calling for the end of 30 Rock, but their fresh delivery style and fearless wit have made me a firm believer. I say season 6 seasons be damned (currently on number 5)... SHOOT FOR 20! I'll keep watching.

Show Review: Fringe Season 3 Episode 9: Marionetta

       Thursdays episode was the first of the season where everyone was back in their proper universes. That is a sentence I never thought I would have to type. It didn't do much to advance the plot in leaps and bound, but it brought you deeper into the psyche of someone (Olivia1) who had trouble readjusting to her old environment after a traumatic experience. I'd saying being kidnapped, brainwashed, and taken to another universe is pretty traumatic.
        Let's take a minute to talk about Anna Torv (Olivia) and her acting this season. I very clearly watch a lot of tv, and besides the perennial great lead acting (Dexter, Hose, Law and Order), Anna Torv has really set herself up as a potential Emmy nominee. Not only has she played the lead role in a show where she has to play 2 people, hers is the only character on both sides that is only subtly different and gets far and away the most airtime. So you have to know which one is which just by how she smiles or walks or laughs. It's been an incredible job in my opinion.
        For those who actually do watch Fringe, this episode had that standard "What the fuck?" moment, when a man tried to reanimate a corpse. Pretty wild stuff goes on on this show from week to week, and that's just the tip of the iceberg.

Episode Rating 1-10:  6.5    Nothing to phone home about, just another good episode from a good show. It was one of those filler episodes that usually leads to something awesome happening next week, so look for a high score on the next Fringe post
Clean Slate Rating: 4.5       This show is probably never going to score well in this category. If you don't watch it week to week, or Netflix the dvd's from the beginning you are just going to be lost. This episode featured a lot of emotional moments, which was hallmarked by Olivia feeling (rightfully) betrayed.

The Top 5 Best Sarcastic Characters on TV (Right Now)

No introduction, lets get straight to it.

5. Jack Donaghy (Alec Baldwin) 30 Rock

Jack is one half sarcastic and the other half the man. He runs the GE company, oversees TGS with Tracy Jordan, and is also the head of GE's most financially viable department: Microwaves. He is not as overtly sarcastic as the rest of this list, but his whole delivery is one that says "I'm smarter than you and I know it"... and that counts in my book as sarcasm.

4. Jeff Winger (Joel McHale) Community

Jeff is the smooth talking former lawyer of the sophomore comedy Community. His biting sarcasm is delivered so quickly that may times it takes an extra 5-10 seconds to actually get the joke. I call this syndrome "joke lag" and it's a good thing, it makes re-watching episodes better.

3. Jim Halpert (John Krasinski) The Office

Jim has been the best main character on The Office since its inception. His pranks on Dwight carried the show throughout the slow season one, and brought in viewers during the exponentially better seasons two and three. His sarcasm is less biting than Winger's, his style is more egging Michael and Dwight on to even more ridiculous behavior. Can you say Gaydar?

2. Hank Moody (David Duchovany) Californication

Hank is incapable of treating people the way they deserve to be treated. Whether they are his subordinates, his superiors, women, men, people who help him or hurt him, they all (except his daughter) get the same callous overtly perverted sexual treatment. He says whatever he wants and pays for it, and that is why he is not number one on this list. He gets punched in the face on average once in every 3 episodes, unlike the top spot...

1. Greg House (Hugh Laurie) House

Everybody loves House. He thinks 3 steps ahead of everyone he knows, and through those means usually gets exactly what he wants. It is often pretty hard to tell the difference between what is sarcastic and what he's saying just to burrow deeper into peoples head. Good example of sarcasm: he uses a cane, when he needed a new one he asked the store owner "what do you have in bitchin'?" And when he finally settled on one he settle on the "one with the flames on the side, so it looks like I'm going faster."  or this one from season one. The show is full of about 20 of these moments an episode, and it makes it one of the best shows on television.

Show Review: Community Season 2 Episode 11: Abed's Uncontrollable X-Mas

        You have to respect Community for one thing, when they do something, they commit. Last night's episode was entirely in clay animation that the old school Christmas special used to do. The episode followed no seasonal plot, instead they decided to do a full on Christmas special.
        Apparently in the beginning of the episode Abed had gotten some news that drove him crazy, and because of that news he saw everything in clay-mation. They called in Professor Ian Duncan, John Oliver's (from the Daily Show) fame obsessed shrink to get everyone to play along with Abed Christmas fantasy to see where the root of the problem was, which led them all to take up roles of toys from the Island of the Misfit Toys
        Like I said at the beginning of the post, when Community does a gag episode they commit like no other show I have ever seen. Perfect example is their season one episode Modern Warfare, here's a clip of a fan made trailer. Community has a way of filling every stereotype that television shows usually fill, except when they do it they say they are doing it and somehow that makes it even funnier.

Episode Rating 1-10: 5      Despite all the good things about this show week to week I don't like Christmas specials
Stand Alone Episode Rating:    4    Once again I have a bias, as I do not like Christmas specials. However if you have a 10 year old kid and they saw this they might want to tune in week to week. I wouldn't let them though. This is for adults.

Predictions: Survivor: The Final 6... who I think will win

        Let me say right off the top for the 12 people left in America who still watch like I do, this season has had what has to be the dumbest group of Survivors ever. The only smart one was Marty (and maybe Brenda), and the only smart thing they ever did was get rid of Marty. Apart from that this season has been a strategically bungled mess of really good looking people making really bad decisions. None of these people think long term game strategy. They can't see past their alliance and into people lying to them, and none of them think about who votes for who in the final tribal council. It is a joke. But on the other hand, it's pretty interesting tv watching these dumb people bungle around.
        With last night's elimination of Benry (really dumb name by the way) there are 6 castaways left: Holly, Sash, Jane, Chase, Fabio, and Dan. Out of those six, Jane beats anyone she faces off with in the finals, Holly beats anyone but Jane, Chase and Sash beat anyone that aren't women, and if it's those two its a coin flip, Fabio and Dan can beat nobody except each other.
        That said, I think that Holly is going to beat Chase for $1 million dollars. Sash was just lied to by Chase (that's what I saw at least) to get him into their alliance to make it 4 strong with Holly and Jane. Immunity challenge pending, Fabio is next to go (since Sash has a hidden idol they will fake a vote for him and force his idol out), followed by either Sash or Dan (probably Sash). That puts Chase, a 20something in shape car mechanic in the final 4 with a woman over the age 40, a woman over 60, and a man over 50 who had knee surgery and is a no-show in every challenge. In that final 4 as long as Dan doesn't win immunity Chase and the 2 ladies get rid of Dan. Then in the final challenge which is usually a physical test of wills Chase wins and takes Holly because nobody can beat Jane.
        The only way this won't happen is two ways: 1. if these incredibly stupid people decide to rip up their alliances in the final 6, which is ridiculous and unheard of, but like I said, this is the dumbest cast yet. 2. If either Fabio or Sash go on an immunity run. Sash is the wild card, because if he wins the next immunity challenge he is guaranteed in the final 4 due to his hidden idol. That and if they are dumb enough (they probably are) to not vote for Sash in the next vote, he only needs to win one more challenge to make the final 3, and in the final 3 anything can happen. It will be an interesting end, and I'm sure something will go wrong with this prediction along the way, but there are only 2 episodes left.

Show Review: How I Met You Mother

        I realized something after I completed my Top 10 Shows of All Time list: there are just so many god damn shows that it was impossible to give each show that may have deserved a spot in the honorable mentions and debatable in the top 10 its due coverage. As a result, I'm going to give some great shows their due... and How I Met Your Mother is first on that list.
       If I had to describe this show in one word it would be: Awesome! The overuse of the word awesome, the tacky high fives, pick up lines and intricate story telling set this show apart from most others. It has the tangled storytelling of a drama with the heart of a comedy. A interesting combination of new star: Jason Segel, old star: Neil Patrick Harris, and Alyson Hanigan, and Unknowns: Josh Radnor and Colbie Smulders.
       The show is the tale of architect/teacher Ted (Josh Radnor) telling a "love story in reverse". The show is based on Future Ted (never seen, voice of Bob Saget) telling his kids the story of how he met their mother. The show also follows his group of friends, including his best friend/college roommate/lawyer Marshall, his fianace/wife/kindergarten teacher Lily and fellow friend/corporate cronie/Uber womanizer Barney and finally the newest member of their group/Canadian/Ted & Barney's ex/news reporter Robin.
      The only bad thing about this show is the title. If it weren't named "How I Met Your Mother" people would not expect the mother to be in each season. It created an artistic limitation on the show because it's not called how I married your mother, or how your mother and I had kids, it's how I met your mother, which implies that once they meet and start dating that the show will end. It has also created a level of expectation that each girl Ted dates will be the mother. For the first two seasons viewers enjoyed the comedy, but come season 4 or 5 people (including me) started getting pissed off. They give you all these cryptic hints about the mother, and her whereabouts through the show, in Season 3 St. Patty's Day episode they say the mother was in the same bar, and they did not meet but Ted accidentally left with her umbrella, hints like these are littered throughout the six seasons. At a certain point they have to decide what is going to happen, as Ted is 31 (at least) and the show needs to end for its own good.

Overall Series Rating: 8.5/10

Show Review: Boardwalk Empire: Season 1 Episode 12: A Return To Normalcy

      Right off the bat, this is a hybrid post. Usually for a new show like this I would title the post as "New Show Review" but I decided that, since I've been watching this show all season that I'll review the finale in combination with the rest of the season. Why would I do such a thing? I'd like to remind you for the second post in a row that this is America, I do what I want.
      Boardwalk Empire is going to be on for a long time, so get used to people talking about it. They have the perfect cast, with Steve Bushemi headlining. It's already HBO's newest mega-hit to follow Entourage, True Blood, that show about the Mormons, and of course the Sopranos. There is something in Boardwalk Empire for everyone. There is mob violence, drugs, booze, gratuitous sex, lesbians, and politics... and its only season 1.
      Boardwalk Empire is the story of Enoch "Nucky" Thompson and his rise as Country Treasurer/gangster in Atlantic City during Prohibition. It is loosely based on the true story of the man with the same name. They take all the classic names, Nucky, Arnold Rothstein, Al Capone, and they do whatever they want with the characters, following a very loose historical timeline. It's a period piece with a modern edge.

Season Finale 1-10: 9    Really sets the table for next season, when Eli, the former mayor, and Jimmy Darmmity begin to plot Nucky's overthrow
Clean Slate Rating: 6     Last night looked a lot like politics and gin, with very little violence and sex, not as interesting to the casual viewer
Likelihood I add Boardwalk Empire to my Must Tivo List: 10     I'm hooked. You should be too.

New Show Review: Californication

      I realize the last three posts have been a bit of a Showtime Network showcase. That's what happens when a network pays me cash. This is America... bribery works... so take some notes HBO, there will be no reviews til I see some bills.
     Bribery aside, Californication is a pretty funny show. It stars former X-Filer David Duchovany and then a whole host of "that guy" actors. Those guys you see everywhere but have no idea who they are. I'm not going to solve that problem for you, but I will tell you not to make the mistake I did while watching this show. Do not watch it with your dad. Unless your Dad is into strippers, sex, alcohol abuse, pot, cocaine, borderline child abuse, verbal abuse, drunk driving, statutory rape and infidelity. In that case he may be a monk of the church of Hank Moody. My Dad was not.
      Lead character Hank is a writer who moved from NY to LA for his family, and since the move has totally unraveled. His wife divorced him before the pilot, and now he drinks and smokes (cigarettes and weed) and screws his way into your hearts. Hank is an alpha male, and gets any woman he wants. Seriously. Any. Woman. He. Wants. Think that's an exaggeration? Just check this clip out, but be careful, definitely NSFW. There have been some womanizers in TV history, but Hank Moody has to take the prize as the most successful.
      He also has a teenage daugher, whom he loves and dotes on. He is the most accepting and tolerant Dad in history. At one point he figures out his daughter is high and instead of yelling he says "Where the fuck did you get it? I''ll kill him!" "Your typewriter"  "Damn it, I thought it was light! Alright gimme back what you got, all of it." He just wants to spend time with a child who is pulling away from him more and more because she realizes what he is, a depraved, self-destructive womanizer.

Unrelated note: Yes, the creators did indeed get sued by the Red Hot Chili Peppers, and obviously RHCP lost. I guess Flea was too busy dyeing his hair blue to make it to class they day they talked about trademarking and copyright laws.

1-10 Odds I will add Californication to my Must Tivo list: 7    This show is pretty fucking funny. Hank says what he wants to pretty much anyone he chooses; man, woman, child, friend or stranger. I could watch him get in his own way all day. I'm in the process of getting myself caught up for the new season coming in January... Won't you join me?

Show Review: Dexter: Season 5 Episode 11

      Holy. Shit. I don't know how they do it. I really don't. Last night's Dexter continued a long line of amazing episodes and amazing seasons that only get better when they enter the final three episodes. As far as television shows are concerned, at this point in season 5 they are like the Pittsburg Steelers "Steel Curtain" defense. There is no other word for it but greatness. It's no longer a question of "is this one of the best shows ever?" It's a question of "what shows do you think are better?" because that list is incredibly short (for me, only Lost).
      If you haven't seen the episode yet, there's gonna be a few spoilers from here on out. Dexter Killed a cop last night. I think George Clooney sums up his death the best at the 2:46 mark of this video. Oddly enough that cop was both RoboCop and Frank Liddy, a PI hired by Quinn to figure out why the fuck Dexter is so weird. How nobody thought of this before (hiring a PI) is beyond me, it probably would have saved Doake's life though. So now Dexter is in fully on season finale mode, which is when he is at his best. Previous ridiculous finales for this show include SPOILERS killing his brother, blowing up a cabin in the everglades, the death of his wife, and escaping a serial killer. So there's really no telling what to expect.
      Before this episode started, I had a prediction about the path of the season. I think that next season Debra and maybe Quinn are going to join Dexter in his vigilantism. It's been a long time coming for Debra, who proved this season that she has what it takes to take the life of someone who deserves it and not lose sleep over it. This goes to support my theory that by the show's end the entire Miami Metro Police Department is going to be in on the vigilantism (think the ending of Boondock Saints).
      I'm going to go on a tangent for a moment here: The police station Dexter works for (Miami Metro) is probably the most unprofessional group of cops in the country. In the last 5 years: Masuka has probably been the cleanest guy in department and he's a pervert. Debra has slept with a serial killer, an informant, and a fellow police office. LaGuerta has slept with her boss' fiance and her subordinate as well as hinting at sleeping with another former colleague. Angel picked up Dexter's sloppy seconds and now sleeps with the boss, and Dexter is a fucking mass murderer. A little class goes a long way is all I'm saying.

Overall Season Plot Rating: 10. Best episode so far hands down. To continue with the sports references, Dexter in the final 3 episodes is like the Yankees in October. They just get shit done.
Stand Alone Episode Rating: Last night I actually had the opportunity to watch Dexter with someone who hasn't seen more than one or two episodes, and even his jaw was on the floor, until he found out that it's on Showtime, which he doesn't get. Don't worry Mike, you can borrow the DVD...      10

Show Review: Weeds: Come Jump the Shark With Me

       In 1977 the show Happy Days had a 3 part season premiere. In this premiere Fonzi's bravery was questioned by... someone, I'm not sure because Happy Days was not my thing. What did the Fonz do? He put on his super short Jack Ritter swim trunks (Three's Company is always and forever my man short shorts watermark. Everything was either pre-Three's Company or after it), and he obviously kept his leather jacket on, got on some water skis and literally jumped a shark. It will forever be known as one of the most infamous and absolutely abusrd television moments of all time, and has become a watermark for how ridiculous shows can get.
       As ludicrous as jumping the shark is, in theory it is a very useful television tool. When your viewership begins to drop there you are left with two options: 1. Stay the course and hope they come back. Hold that integrity and go do what you wanted to do before your show got famous. 2. Jump the shark to hopefully expand the creative boundaries of your show and give yourself more options. Usually if you have a television show and have to have that conversation then you know the end is close at hand.
       Option 1 never works, because usually once a viewer abandons ship they don't come back. So jumping the shark is not always a bad thing, you do what has to be done to keep interest  alive. Everybody jumps the shark. There are a handful of shows that jumped the shark early and even in the first season, just to get it out of the way and then thrive because their viewers have no idea what to expect week to week. These are often the best shows (Lost, House, Rescue Me, 24). The difference is when you jump the shark after 3 or 4 seasons people cease to see it as expanding the creative boundaries of your show, and see it as ridiculous stunts for viewership. In the words of the great Denzel Washington in Training Day (click the link, I have been waiting to quote that for so long), and the proof is in the pudding, when the times got tough your show sold out and went with the audience.
      Weeds jumped the shark in season 4, when they left Agrestic and moved to Ren Mar, and have been on the run ever since. The first three seasons set up a near pattern for the show, Nancy sells weed, Andy smokes it  and gets laid (and is usually hilarious... greatest clip ever). Shane is weird, and Silas finds girlfriends everywhere and whines (one was even an Olsen twin!). Since the end of season 4 it has been one ridiculous plotline after another: a murder by a family member, a marriage, an underground tunnel to Mexico, an engagement, multiple armed hold ups, heavy Mexican mob ties, a lion, and a crazy high school teacher.
      If Weed jumped the shark a bit earlier (Season 2 maybe) then viewers like me would not be so quick to criticize. On the other hand, the show is still absolutely hilarious and I watched every episode this season. Couple that with the fact that Nancy (Mary-Louise Parker) is somehow getting hotter and hotter every season. I think that this show probably has a max of 2 seasons left (especially after how this season ends), and I will watch every episode.
Season 6 Overall Rating: 6.5/10    Good, pretty funny, definitely not great.

New Show Review: Burn Notice

      I've heard mixed review about this show. My brother says it sucks, my dad likes it, my friends have never seen it (or at least have never talked about it). Sounds like a job for TV Time Waster.
     I watched the pilot and then I watched a couple random episodes on one of my favorite pirating sites, and I can conclusively say this about Burn Notice: "Ehh". It's not bad by any stretch of the imagination, but it's definitely not great. Overall, I'd say if you need to kill an hour and you don't want to broaden your mind by reading a book, you could do worse than Burn Notice.
      In the pilot the female lead, Fiona, has an awful Irish accent (she was a member of the IRA). But in the other episodes I watched the accent was totally gone, but in the opening credits of every episode, there she is with the Irish accent again. It's inconsistencies like that that bring this show down a level from its potential. If you make a show and realize your lead can't deliver on the accent, that's understandable, but at the very least take the casting mistake out of your theme song
      As far as badassness, Michael Weston, the main character, delivers pretty handily. He doesn't get by using brute force, but he can when necessary. Usually he outwits his opponents into making a mistake that leads them to get caught by the cops. He also gives tips about cool spy tricks, some of which are on youtube, like this one, or this one, and then one more. The tips he gives in episodes are much better than those though.
      This show also utilizes an unbelievable amount of sex appeal. There is a pretty girl in a bikini in nearly every scene. Couple that with the easy to follow, hokey dialogue and constant explosions, it is clear that the intended common denominator for this show is men anywhere between 12-40 with very few plans on a Friday night.

1-10 Likelihood I Will put Burn Notice on my must Tivo list:  4       It's a little cheesier and formulaic than I would usually go for, but I don't always need intellectual thrillers with 2 different universes (Hello Lost and Fringe). Sometimes its nice to just sit back, look at fake tanned girls getting more fake tanned on television, while learning how to bust a lock and watching shit blow up. Also, at 22 I fall right in the middle of the target demographic. I won't be setting Tivo, but if I'm bored I'll watch this show.

Show Review: Fringe Season 3 Episode 8: Entandra

  
      I'm officially trying to get people into Fringe now. The show sputtered a bit in the beginning, but Fringe is headed in the right direction. Each season has had a theme to it thus far. Season one was about figuring out the pattern, and realizing not only are there two worlds, but the other world had already begun the planning stages of a war. The second was about figure out how to fight the other more technologically advanced world, and try to figure out their end game. Thus far this season has been about intelligence gathering and espionage, or in other words the infancy stages of the war.
      In a huge twist at the end of last season, when the Fringe Division from our world went to the other world, Olivia 1 was captured and Olivia 2 took her place in our world, and immediately set her sights on getting as close to Peter as possible, since he is the centerpiece of the war. In Entandra her duplicity is finally figured out, using help from some tricky manuevers by Olivia 1 in the other world. The two ended up reswapping, and Broyles 1 got a dose of reality when he saw his alter ego dead in front of his eyes, because he [Broyles 2] helped Olivia 1 back to our world in hopes of a resolution to the conflict that did not result in total war.
      If you read that last paragraph and are completely lost, please don't let that make you hesitate to start watching Fringe. Think of it as X-Files for the 2010's. It's not that hard to get a grasp on, but you have to start from the beginning so you pick up on the general theme. If you've made it this far through the post, you've earned a decent sized Season 1 spoiler. After reading this spoiler you won't even need to watch season 1 for anything besides character development. The key to this show is that there is more than one of everything, in other words there are 2 universes. These two universes are destined to fight each other, because each world is killing the opposing world. They are like leeches to each other, causing constant disasters. Think of the two universes like Harry Potter and Voldemort, neither can live while the other still survives, because if one isn't broken then they will both drag each other down. It's definitely worth it to sit through the interesting, but somewhat boring season 1 (you don't have to after that spoiler though). Season 2 is good, and season 3 thus far has been the best show on tv besides Dexter.
Episode Ratings:
Overall Season Plot Rating: 9     This has been the episode I've been waiting for for a few weeks. All the swapped Olivia drama has been building to this, and I'm happy to say that the payoff didn't disappoint. I can't wait to see what happens with the story telling, will they continue the switching between each world, or stick to one universe at a time
Clean Slate Rating: 2      I'm going to call this TrueLife syndrome (MTV show). If you aren't caught up, you may think you know, but you have no idea what's going on. For the most part if you just saw Fringe for the first time Thursday you saw a lot of the same people playing different style characters and randomly point guns at each other. Catch up, don't just dive in head first.

Show Review: Survivor Nicaragua (I want to be Jeff Probst when I grow up)

      This is going to be a rare post for me because reviewing reality TV is like reporting high school gossip, the only people who care are the ones who watch it, or are involved with it. So why today? Why this episode? Well something happened Wednesday night that in 21 seasons has never happened before. Allow me to elaborate. Even if you don't watch survivor you should know that you are going to have to go through hell for the opportunity to win $1 million. You're going to have to starve yourself, push yourself to the limit mentally and physically, and be completely willing to backstab someone you have come to know and respect.
      In the most recent episode of Survivor 2 cast members, Naonka and "Purple" Kelly quit the show. This has never happened before. Survivors quitting has happened, at least 4 or 5 times, but never 2 in one season, let alone one episode. Granted it was pouring rain, they had just burned their supply of food and their tarp (their fault, this season features some phenomenally dumb people) and they were miserable. But there were only 9 people and 11 days left, and both of the castaways who quit had a real chance to make it to the end because Naonka is insufferable (a somewhat positive trait in Survivor, you want to keep the people nobody likes around, so when you get to the end they vote for you and not them), and Purple Kelly who was helpless (also a positive trait, jury members are less likely to give someone who rode coat tails $1 million, making it easier to advance). I was floored, in the past when someone quit it was usually because there was a sick family member at home and they wanted to be with them. Never because they were tired and wet. Fellow castaway Benry said it best when he said "You signed up for Survivor, which is played in the rain forest. You didn't expect to be wet and cold?"
      It was not nearly as easy as both of them just saying "oh, we quit, see you later". They told host Jeff Probst after a challenge of their intentions (two separate thought processes, these two didn't really talk much) and he actually yelled at them. In the shows humble beginnings Jeff was merely an observer. He would say who was winning, report important decisions etc etc. Some where around season 10 he became a motivator, trying to get everything he could out of participants. Now he pretty much just yells at them to "DIG DEEP! THIS COULD BE A $1 MILLION DOLLAR CHALLENGE!"So when these two said they wanted to quit, he scolded them for a good 5 minutes, and got everyone else to participate in ripping them to shreds, then he told them to wait on their decision until tribal council. At tribal council when they both actually did quit he completely infantilized them. "What should we do with your [symbolic] torch? I don't think we should put it out, because you quit. What do you do with a quitters torch?" He decided to not let them keep the torch, a memento every Survivor usually gets to keep. Let 'em have it Probst! Here's a link to Probst's blog where he talks about some Survivor precedent.
      Another funny part was watching all the other cast members pretend to care that these two were quitting. Their odds immediately went from 1-9 to 1-7 in one evening, and the game is for $1 million, so would you care? Whenever Jeff asked them opinions about the quitters they always hemmed and hawwed "My mother didn't raise me to be a quitter" or "I tell my daughter to suck it up", instead of just saying I hope you quit so I can win easier. Side note, one member of the jury actually cried. Hilarious.

Show Review: Community Season 2 Episode 10: Mixology Certification

      Since this is my first review of Community I feel like i should really hammer home just how much I love this show. Right now it is probably the funniest show on TV (trust me, I've seen pretty much all of them). They use all the regular stereotypical sitcom plot lines, but they do it in a different way. For example in season 2 they have a bottle episode (when all the characters are trapped in a room. Think Friends when everyone was eating wax). Instead of just doing the bottle episode they say "well this is looking a lot like a bottle episode", and at one point the group leader calls his date and says "I'm sorry but I'm going to have to cancel. Well, you can tell your disappointment to suck it! I'm doing a bottle episode!"
      Last night's episode started with the study group celebrating Troy's 20th birthday in a pretty lame cake and friends fashion, until they did some basic math, realizing Troy was born in 1989, and is actually 21. They did that pretty hilariously "No, I'm 20 because I was 10 for two years because 5th grade was really hard... OH MY GOD MOM, HOW MANY LIES HAVE I BEEN LIVING!?!" So they went to the bar. Without giving away actual spoilers, I'll just tease that two of the six members got hammered, one was propositioned by a gay man, two had seemingly life changing revelations, one tried to preserve their dignity and one didn't even make it into the front door. By the way I'm calling it, Annie and Troy are the next two to hook up.
Episode Ratings:  
Overall Season Plot Rating: 8, it drove some stories forward. Granted it's mid-season of a sitcom, so plot isn't the most important thing right now, but still some interesting plots may have been uncovered.
Clean Slate Rating: If this were the first episode of Community I had ever seen I think I would have left with a smile and an intention to watch it again if it happened to be on.            8

New Show Review: The Walking Dead

      The Walking Dead is a brand new show on AMC. AMC kind of burst on to the scene of television drama's with their unbelievably successful show Mad Men. Since Mad Men they have produced another bonafide hit with their show about a high school chemistry teacher turned meth dealer in Breaking Bad. So needless to say AMC is doing drama the right way, but would that pattern of success continue with their new zombie show The Walking Dead?
      The answer quite simply is yes. I was going to go with my original plan of watch the pilot and then watch the fan favorite episode, but there was a hitch in that plan. The problem was, after the pilot I became a fan. So I watched #1, then 2, and before I knew it I caught myself up in one day.
      The show is great. It follows the classic zombie movie theme of man ends up in hospital and then wakes up to zombie apocalypse. The thing I really like about the show is that they don't get too married to their characters. In other words they are not afraid to kill off characters that the viewer comes to love. This is a big deal to me, and coincidentally one of my biggest beefs with 24 (there is n way Jack Bauer, as badass as he is, should still be alive). Shows based on death tend to let characters develop more than the story when viewers get attached. Except for the main character (a state trooper, who in the pilot rides a horse into a zombie town) this won't be a problem for The Walking Dead. My one and only complaint is the fragmented story lines. They mention, for example, going to retrieve a walkie talkie from a bag in the middle of a zombie town. They go get it and the walkie talkie isn't seen for another 2 episodes. This kind of sloppy story telling goes away with more seasons usually though. Actually one more complaint, it was only given a 6 episode season one, which means I'm caught up and next week is the finale. That's not okay with me.

1-10 Likelihood I Will put The Walking Dead on my must Tivo list: 11. Its on there now. The show is must watch, and if you haven't seen it then PLEASE invest the time.

My 10 Favorite Shows... EVER! Part 2

There are few things more anticipated than the second half of this Top 10 post. Presidents and billionaires alike have called and texted me asking for a sneak preview of the Top 5. Vegas odds makers have set lines based on my About Me section of Facebook. Despite all this media pressure I refuse to put my integrity on the back burner. So bribes and offers of no strings attached sex aside, here it is, without further ado, the Part 2 of 2 of my Top 10 Favorite Shows list, a list called "The most important thing ever to be read by you or your children" by Forbes Magazine. Here it is.

5. Seinfeld

      The list of absolutely brilliant Seinfeld jokes is seemingly endless. It is, in my opinion, the second most quotable show of all time (the most quotable found its way to #3 on this list). A history of browsing through the internet's top character lists shows that both Kramer and George Costanza regularly land in the Top 10, and for good reason. Here's A Great George Moment, and here is A Great Kramer Moment, but these are really just the tip of the iceberg. There was the man in the cape, the bet to see who could abstain from "self-gratification" the longest, the astronauts pen that writes upside down, Top of the Muffin to You, and the episode told in reverse (where they went to India). Seinfeld did for sitcoms what Nirvana did for rock music. Instead of relying on heavy plot, with a theme driving the season (look at How I Met Your Mother or Friends or Raymond, but more importantly the older comedies) Seinfeld, "The show about nothing" chose to rely on episode to episode storyline, with very little carryover. If you don't like Seinfeld then stuff your sorry's in a sack, and watch these clips.
Kramer With Merv Griffith Set
George Does the Opposite of his Instincts
"Not that there's anything wrong with that"
The Junior Mint

Best Character: George is great, but I'm partial to Cosmo Kramer
Best Season: Emmy winning season 4, but really there is no going wrong here 

4. House M.D.

       House is the biggest asshole on television, and its all part of his desired image. He will say anything to anyone to get his way. His motto is "Everybody lies" and he operates under that assumption. The show, if you haven't seen it or heard of it, is about Greg House, a medical diagnosing machine who gets the cases that nobody else in the hospital can figure out. He uses his ever rotating and updating team of doctors break into people's houses and see what they live in because "if they know we're coming they might hide something". He hired the black member of his team (Foreman) because of his troubled youth. He did a background check and found breaking and entering so he hired him, he hired another member (Cameron) because she was "a solid 8", and the third original member because his father was a famous doctor. The show goes much deeper than House being an asshole, he is an asshole because of his constant pain.
      After having the equivalent to a heart attack in his leg, he had a large portion of the tissue in his leg die, and because of that is in constant unbearable pain, which led to his subsequent vicodin addiction. That very same addiction led him to eventually hallucinate and end up in a mental hospital. The show is fairly formulaic, each episode is centered around a case that seems unsolvable. House has to be the most original character in television probably ever, who says anything to anyone and gets away with it because, simply put, he is a genius and they need him.
This is a character study I found of House on Youtube. It is hard to capture House's theme in clips so it was the best I could do.
Best Character: Greg House, obviously. Kutner (played by Kal Penn of Harold and Kumar wasn't bad, but his stint on the show was short lived.
Best Season: Season 4 where he has the "reality tv show" to determine his new team.

3. Arrested Development

      I could quote this show all day. It is the best written comedy ever. They write set-ups to jokes that come into play 5 or more episodes down the road. The narration moves the show along at a very fast pace, which makes it hard for the average viewer to keep track of it. That was the reason  for its cancellation after 3 season (which in my opinion is absolutely criminal). Viewers found it hard to keep up. When you read between the lines that means that the dummy's couldn't understand the political jokes, and all the other jokes happened so fast and without a laugh track that people couldn't tell what was a joke and what was dialogue. It has incredible re-watch value, there are jokes made about jokes that are buried under jokes. I have never shown someone the first episode and not gotten them immediately addicted to the show and sympathetically furious about its cancellation.
      The show was about an incredibly dysfunctional family being held together by Michael Bluth. The former matriarch of the family George Bluth landed himself in jail for allegedly building houses in Iraq illegally through his construction company The Bluth Company (traded on the NY Stock Exchange). Now Michael has to hold the family, who are completely dependent on the company for income and regularly ignore job opportunities, and the company together.
      The things that set this show apart from other comedies are the cast and the writing. The cast was phenomenal, including such stars as Michael Bateman, Michael Cera, Will Arnett, David Cross, Jeffrey Tambor. Guest stars also included Martin Short as the quadriplegic "Uncle" Jack (no blood relation to the family) who refuses to get a wheel chair and instead hires an incredibly strong half deaf Russian, Ben Stiller as a magician and GOB's (Will Arnett) primary magical competition who waits hidden in rooms waiting for someone to say the word 'wonder' and then appears in a puff of smoke prompting everyone to say "How did he do that!?" and Liza Minelli as the cradle robbing neighbor. This show is so good I am going to let the clips do the rest of the talking.

GOB- After he was told to take Michael's job as the company President as his mother's puppet he begins to alienate the employees via his suits
Tobias- The ambiguously gay brother-in-law who ha a phobia of being naked, and instead opts to wear cut-off jeans under his clothes
George-Michael- Michael Cera doing what he does best, awkward. This clip focuses on his incredibly forgettable girlfriend.
The Chicken Dances- an example of the running jokes, the family is so elitist and out of touch with reality that they don't know what sound a chicken makes, but they do their best impressions anyway. "Chickens don't clap!"

Best Character: they are all great, but since I'm forcing myself to pick it has to be Tobias, GOB comes in close second. Side note if Gene Parmesan appeared in more episodes he would have easily taken this

Best Season: Season 2, when Gob is in charge

2. Dexter

      The show about a serial killer that you can't help but root for. He works for the police as a blood spatter analyst by day and kills the people who slip through the systems crack by night. The show centers around his relationships with the people close to him like his wife Rita, sister Debra, step children Cody and Astor, and a slew of co-workers. As a young boy he was adopted by Debra's father Harry, and he saw a darkness in him, so instead of having the system pick up on this and call him crazy he taught Dexter how to lie and fake his sanity. While doing that he taught him how to kill the people who deserved to be killed without getting caught.  This involves tying them to a table in a room lined with plastic, killing them and chopping up their remains and throwing them into the ocean. He says regularly that he has no emotions, and does not care about anything except stalking and killing his prey.
      Dexter is a non-stop ride from week to week. Every episode is entertaining, but the real payoffs are in those last 3 or 4 episodes at the end of each season which make your jaw drop and you unable to speak at all for a half an hour. I'd like to give more detail as I did in Arrested Development, but my goal here is to turn people on to new shows, and giving any plot lines away in this show is high treachery to future watchers. If you watch the first episode of the first season you will be hooked for life, guaranteed.

Best Character: Dexter overall, but the performance of John Lithgow as the Trinity Killer in season 4 was maybe the best season of acting I have ever seen in any show.

Best Season: Season 4 with John Lithgow

1. Lost

      I was once asked to describe Lost to someone who had never seen an episode. I couldn't do it. The show was shrouded in so much mystery that even if you watched for 4 seasons you barely knew what the overall plot path of the show was. This tended to infuriate viewers, but everyone kept coming back. Why? Because this show is like heroin for your optic nerve. Every minute is tense and you find yourself eternally searching for clues to answer questions that simply never get answered. Actually after the show finished they released this clip to close some doors on the questions ****MEGA HUGE SPOILERS IN THIS CLIP****.
      The show started when a flight from Sydney to Los Angeles crashed on a desert island. Immediately the idea of coincidence (Jack's side) vs. fate (Locke's side) becomes a theme. Were they meant to be there or were they simply a victim of circumstance? This show delivered some of the jaw dropping cliff hangers in history. Jack and Locke emerged as leaders of the "tribe", who in short order begin to battle the "Others" who have been on the island the whole time and begin kidnapping woment and children. All over the island are abandoned science stations left by the Dharma Initiative, one of these stations play prominently in Season 2.
      Plenty of people tend to smack talk on Lost. It's simply because they never watched it. I've watched the faces of skeptical people watch the first hour of the show and see how their eyes light up with interest, the first words out of their mouth are "HOLY SHIT... can we watch the next one?". I've taken to extending the "Lost Challenge" to skeptics. I will lend you the first DVD disc of Lost, and if you can watch the first 4 episodes and not be hooked then i will never tell you about the show ever again.

Best Character: John Locke... "DON'T YOU TELL ME WHAT I CAN'T DO" So many different characters are great on this show that it's really close between 4 or 5 characters.

Best Season: 2, 5 or 6. In my defense for being wishy washy and picking half the show's seasons, there is a reason it's number 1, and that is because they are all great.

Honorable Mentions: 24: It is just so action packed an intense that that actually led to its undoing. In the last season i watched (6) i stopped watching halfway through because it was too ridiculous.
Scrubs: Silly and hilarious. If it wasn't as sappy as it was it may have made the list
How I Met Your Mother: after 3 seasons this show seemed like a top 10 lock, but the 3 season since have run into the problem of people anticipating the mother being introduced, and that impatience has hurt it a lot
Community: I'm confident this will be a top 10er. It just simply does not have the necessary volume to make it top 10 worthy. Its the best during spoof episodes.
Fringe: Borderline top 10er, which started slow in the first 2 seasons, but the current season 3 has been phenomenal. If it keeps its current pace look for it to edge in ahead of MASH or Friends.
Weeds: Really funny, but has recently jumped the shark about 5 times.
It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia: Again incredibly funny, i just got bored with it. Possible top 10 potential if i get back into it